Returning to My Original Intent 回歸初衷

Since leaving my previous job adter 6 dedicated years, I've experienced many ups and downs, both physically and emotionally. I faced self-doubts, confusion, a loss of confidence, fears... resulting in many emotional lows and anxieties. After a big emotional outburst a couple of days ago, I calmed down and realized I was at a critical juncture where I need to stop and re-establish myself. This realization led me to create this blog as a space to document my journey to becoming great again! (Yes, the blog's name was inspired by the elected US president, Mr. Donald Trump. 😜)

Reflecting on my decison to quit, I recognized that I was overwhelmed by negative feelings towards my role and the company. I wanted to take a break to explore interests I had long desired to pursue. Additionally, I wanted to get my body in shape to feel more motivated and energetic. As I work on myself, I hope to gain clarity about what I truly want and find a job that is more enjoyable and sustainable for me.

Looking back over the past quarter, which included a job I left after just three weeks, I struggled with procrastination, serious anxiety, and worries about the future and job searching. During this week, I took some time to think deeply about what I truly wanted to do. I decided to honor my original intent and fully embrace this time for rest, Instead of struggling with the challenging job market, I need to make myself strong again before moving forward. 

Over the past few months, I pushed myself to stick to a well-planned schedule, aiming to engaging in activities that would be beneficical for future job opportunities. Howver, filled with doubt and anxiety, I found myself extremely relucant to handle these tasks. I spent too much time debating with myself about what I should do and what would be good for me. As a result, I felt drained and upset, even though I hadn't accomplished much. 

Initially, when I left the job, I had several intentions I wanted to explore. 

• I wanted to learn how to make videos, like vlogging on YouTube, and how to use Canva.
• I wanted to take a barista course. 
• I wanted to strengthen my core muscles and achieve a beautiful, sporty physique. 
• I wanted to read the books that have been gathering dust on my shelf for years and write more. 
• I hoped to established a healthier daily routine by going to bed earlier. 

While thses pursuits may not be directly related to a job, they are incredibly valuable for my long-term health and for developing a strong, positive mindset. Achieving these goals would provide a significant sense of accomplishment and self-satisfaction. 

For now, I will follow my heart and focus on my orginal plans. I hope to heal myself and become great again. 💪

Dubin Liffey River